Seriously.. i'm beginning to think that allocating 6 weeks to produce a chapter is a bit ambitious. But that is what was agreed between me and J, so I have to follow through. After all, if I were to submit my thesis by December, I really need to keep to my schedule. Theoretically, if I were to write 1,000 words a day, I could easily finish a chapter in 10 days. Campur tolak time to edit semua maybe it would take me a month, maximum. Tapi tolak all the weekends + Jumaat (i dont work on fridays anymore since ubie started a new evening job and I need to be home for Friday prayers), i am left with roughly (4 days x 4 weeks) = 16 days exactly. Itu pun kalau i can write 1,000 words a day. Kalau tak boleh cemano? Haihhh...
But the upside of it is that I really enjoy writing up, at least with the findings chapter that is.. Also, i am excited to rename my focus group mommies. You see, in order to protect the anonymity of my respondents, I need to change their names. And so I have the privilege to choose 51 female names to replace the original ones. Macam-macam nama makk fikirkan. Its so fun.. it almost like picking out names for your babies. And I have 51 baby girls to name! I've already used both my daughters' middle names. And i've also picked some modern malay names too. I'm thinking of including some oldies names too like Rosnah, and Aminah. hihi.. Tapi 51 is a lot of names to think about! Do suggest some names pleeeease!
Oh, i bet some of my friends are now wondering what names did I chose for them *winking at fabulous, yzma and bidadari* Haha! I'm not gonna tell you (its not ethical remember). But I assure you that all the names are lovely names! After all, i chose them myself. :p
okay, enough with that.
BTW I'm really excited to go out for a 'ladies nite out' with my friends this Saturday. We're celebrating mothers day. FYI, mothers day in the UK is celebrated in March, unlike in May for most countries, I'm not sure why though. We're going to check out this new halal place in town called salt n pepper which serves Western, itallian, n indian cuisine! Yums! Grilled steak here i comeeeeeeeeeee!
Saya masih BF Icha exclusively sehingga hari ini. Alhamdulillah, pada kali ni rezeki saya lebih murah. Midwife kat sini kata, kadangkala kegagalan BF pada masa yang lepas membuatkan saya lebih persevere dan determined. Saya setuju. Masa dengan Diya dulu saya memang tak confident. Tak confident susu ada, tak confident whether Diya kenyang, tak confident latching betul ke tak.. dan macam-macam lagi. Tambah pula nipple berdarah-darah yang amat sakit, masyaallah! Tapi this time around saya gagahkan dan keraskan hati untuk cuba sekali lagi. Dua minggu yang pertama memang mencabar. Dengan bengkak susu sampai demam menggigil, pulak tu winter yang amat sejuk, nipple berdarah2 jangan cakaplah, memang horror sakitnya bila dikenangkan kembali. Tapi dari sehari ke sehari it got better. Dan memang banyak yang saya belajar. Saya lebih confident sekarang. Dan saya percaya bahawa everything is 'in the mind'. Kita kena sentiasa positive.
Saya tahu banyak mommies, esp new mommies melalui apa yang saya lalui dahulu. Jadi ini adalah entry motivasi. Motivasi untuk diri saya sendiri - mengingatkan saya untuk terus persevere walaupun ada halangan in the future- dan juga motivasi kepada siapa sahaja yang rasa ingin dimotivasi. hihi..
1. Susu saya cukup - Tahu tak bahawasanya perut baby baru lahir adalah sebesar duit syiling 5 sen? Dan untuk memenuhkan perut baby dia hanya perlu minum 1 sudu kecil sahaja every feed? Saya pun baru tahu fakta ini masa kat hospital hari tu. One of the midwives bagitahu saya sedang dia tengok saya BF Icha. So ibu2, ingatlah bahawa susu anda cukup! Memanglah pada hari-hari pertama tu rasa macam takde keluar apa. Tapi asalkan kita keep on feeding the baby, he/she will get the collustrum, guarenteed! Lepas 5 hari camtu baru you boleh nampak bukti2 bahawa susu keluar. And remember that every baby is different. Ada yang BF sampai berejam2 setiap session. Ada yang just 15 minutes je. Midwife saya kata as long as the baby feed at least 8 times a day and each session is at least 10-15 minutes, it should be enough. Jangan bagi too short. Kalau dia tertidur, geletek dia sikit suruh bangun balik. hihi. And penghasilan susu adalah 'in demand' so lebih banyak u feed, lebih banyak susu akan terhasil
2. Bengkak susu - Masa saya bengkak susu, memanglah sakit! rasa macam nak pecah aja 'belon' saya. Masa tu tengok breast saya lebih besar dari kepala Icha. And she weighs 3.55kg okei, so cuba bayangkan. Or, maybe better not. haha. Anyways,some mothers akan leak susu tu keluar. Tapi if kita tak leak, it doesnt mean that kita takde susu. Macam saya, sepanjang 3 bulan ni, not once I have to put on that breast pad (membazir je beli okei). Tak pernah bocor. Tapi susu saya cukup aja. Again, the key is to stay confident with your ability to produce enough milk.
3. Pam susu - Masa mula-mula saya pam susu is after 6/7 weeks after Icha was born. Mula-mula tu pam dekat 2 jam tapi yang keluar cuma 2oz aja. From both breasts plak tu! I sought advice from my dear friends and they all encourage me to keep on expressing. And I kept on doing, slowly the amount increases. Now, I express about 12-14oz every day in 3 sessions every day. Bayangkan the increase from 2oz. So the key is to persevere and never give up. Sekarang ni stok susu Icha ada lebih 40 pek (each 6-7 oz). Its not as much as those champion moms yang expressed sampai 300 botol, but its more than enough for Icha. After all, she only consumes 1 pack everytime I am away for school work. So again people.. the key is to remember that each baby's need is different. Some babies dont consume as much, so we dont have to produce more than they need. We just have to stay positive.
4. Never blame ourselves - Women are very good at feeling guily and blaming themselves for things. We shouldnt blame ourselves if we have to introduce FM at some point. It doesnt make us bad mothers. Your baby would still grow up to be a good and healthy kid. And you would still be the best mother in the world to them. The only difference is that you have to pay more every month. Itu saja. So never ever go on that guilt trip ladies. :)
okei.. itu saja entri motivasi ni.. nanti kalau ada lagi yang teringat, I'll add on some other time. :p
I am in a good mood today. Mainly because I had a good sv meeting with J. We had a constuctive discussion about my findings and how everything would fall into place for my thesis. :) Now thats done, the most exciting - yet the hardest - part is yet to come: WRITING UP!
This is the mind map of how my thesis is going to look like in 80,000 words. Serabut tak? :p
Yes people, you've heard me right! I can't believe I'm already at the second last stage of my PhD. The last stage is the Viva of course. Speaking of which, J decided to put me on the spot today by asking a hypothetical viva question - which I miserably failed to answer! aiyo.. perlu taww nak caught me off guard gittew. But seriously, she asked me soalan yg sungguh mencabar (typical J, I should have expected this one coming). Anyhow, it was good that she quizzed me on that - we got on talking about my theoretical contribution, which got me sexcited. I mean, I know that my research has some empirical and methodological contribution, but never would have thought of contributing to the theoretical debate. Itu agak tahap dewa2 sudah. Well, we'll just have to see how that would turn out. :p
My notes: Thesis Outline! There's 7-8 chapters alltogether! *J's notes in blue.
Okei, enough about PhD.
My Icha is turning 3 months tomorrow! *and iezma's hadif is turning 4 months*. Hadif and Icha is exactly 1 month apart btw. at 3 months, Icha is growing well. She's about 5kg++, loves to chat and laugh. Here's a short video of her:
Diya dressed up as pirate for one of her class mates' party yesterday. She had fun indeed - siap menang semua party games okei (kecik2 dah pandai competitive taww).
I'm gonna miss shopping for kids' costumes when I go back to Malaysia. Here everything is considerally cheap and banyak pilihan pulak tu. This pirate set (eye patch, pirate hat and pirate sword only costs 45p. Can you believe it?
Anyways, ubie and I have started discussing about doing some renovations to our house at BSP. Nothing major, just inside renov like tukar flooring, building kitchen kabinet (i soo love yzma's kitchen - how much did it cost you again beb?), wardrobes, installing airconds, autogate and pebbled entrance. I wonder how much all of that will cost us?
Also, because we're not thinking of buying (and bringing home) any car from here, we are not sure whether renting a whole kontena would be cost-effective. Tapi sebenarnya banyak jugak benda nak dibawa balik from here - like house interior stuff yang amat murah dan lebih banyak option (jika dibandingkan dengan yang dijual kat mesia). Maybe kena share kontena kot dengan sesiapa. Hmm..
Pastu, we're already thinking about what car to buy when we got back (kereta kecik ajorr sebab car is just a mode of transportation to me), where would we send Diya and Icha (have no idea yet actually), and career options for Ubie (post AR).
Suddenly there's so much to look forward to.. tapi yang penting..I can't believe that I'm already discussing about our life after ca*rdiff! *yikes!
